Mentorship : 270 degrees

The thing about mentorship is that it covers your blind spots. We can all see the 270 degrees behind us, but the rest is always a blind spot for us which we want someone to watch out for us. And that is what mentorship does. It’s like walking through a minefield. If you can just walk in the footsteps of someone who has walked before you, there’s a high chance you won’t blow yourself up. Most people have spiritual mentors, financial mentors, mentors at work and so on. But the problem is that most of the time their lives themselves are out of balance. They are so passionate about the one thing they are good at that you run a real risk of duplicating their life along with all of it’s imbalances. 

When choosing a mentor, it’s important to begin with the end in mind. Who is there around you whose package of life is something that you would like to have? Who is there who can think about your “well being” in all areas of life instead of just a one dimensional path? Unfortunately, most people treat life as separate boxes and try to make sure they don’t mix together. The work package is separate, the relationship package separate, the spiritual life package separate, the health package separate. They work on 1 or 2 of them but ignore the rest which doesn’t work since they affect each other greatly. Massive success in one at the cost of other almost always leads to pain and grief in the long run. 

I was very fortunate to find a mentor whose life was in balance on all fronts - wealthy on the money side, conscious of health and habits, solid marriage - basically they had the fruit on the tree, and were living a life I didn’t mind living in. That is an appropriate choice of mentor. Everyone else can only be a coach - they can coach us on certain skills or areas of life. A football coach will be worthy of following on the field but might not be worthy of following off the field. And that differentiation is very important. When we start confusing a coach with a mentor, we might unknowingly start picking up habits and attitudes which might be difficult to change in the long run. 

But what if a mentor is not in physical reach for whatever reasons? Chase them, become worthy of their mentorship and earn it. And if none of it works, keep following them and keep catching the nuggets from wherever they are. It’s a worthwhile chase for a great life. The joys of being mentored by someone and the feeling of security knowing that someone like that is looking out for you itself is worth it.