Body and Soul

We’ve had this discussion going on for some time already now. Last time Adi wanted to know when he will die and his Amma had told him the ditinction between his body and his soul. That the body does die, but the soul cannot because it was always there. What was amazing to me was that he understood the concept infinitely faster than it took me to understand it. 

And today sitting in the balcony as we do every morning looking at the birds and the trees and we almost always delve into a conversation. It’s almost as if from nowhere that the questions suddenly start popping up. He asked “Will I also become old....and will you also become old?”. “Will I die....will you also die after some time?”. And I had to reiterate to him what Amma had told before. I asked him if his legs were Adi...to which he said no...whether his nails were Adi...or his nose or his tongue.... to which he said “...no..none of this is Adi...Adi is the soul that is inside”. 

I told him it’s like he’s the driver of his Zen. If the engine dies down, does it mean he the driver is dead. No. He can just walk out and sit in another car and start driving. He understood.

Uncles don't listen too!!

We were at UB city with Gaurav/Divya for dinner and there is a beautiful fountain in the center of the piazza. Children were coming and touching the water. When I forbade Adi, he wanted to know why some children were touching the water. To that I told him that some children don’t listen when they are told not to do something. 

We came back after a walk and saw that a father and a daughter were touching the water together. As they walked away, now he asked “why did that uncle touch the water”. And I told him - even some uncles don’t listen to what they are told. And in fact the children who don’t listen to what they are told, grow up to become uncles who don’t listen to what they are told. 

I think he did understand.

I am the best, I can do everything!!

Taru has this self talk she has programmed in Adi from the time he was very small. She would make him repeat every night before sleeping “I’m cute...I’m smart...I’m intelligent...I’m obedient... I am no 1...I can do everything...God is on my side...I’m blessed...I am the best!!!!!” And he remembers it now by heart. And I’ve seen him muttering it to himself sometimes when he’s half asleep too. 

Adi has a new gun which is actually for bigger boys. It has to be loaded before shooting and the loading lever is really hard. I have to load it for him each time. I was talking on the phone and he wanted me to load it. I told him to try on his own. He tried and then when he failed he said “I can’t do it”. And then I heard him saying, almost as an afterthought “I can do everything....”.

And I was so happy...what took us 25 years to learn, he learned in 48 months. To un-program any wrong programming that others are doing or he himself is doing is the best thing you can learn.

Condemn the act, not the person

When you talk about the soul being good and pure for everybody, Adi wanted to know what devils and demons are then?

I told him that there are no devils and demons - they really are good humans who decide to do the not-so-good things. 

I’m trying to make him differentiate between a bad person and a bad act. That nobody is a bad person, it’s just that they are deciding to do bad acts. I tried explaining to him that when any of his friends teases him or bothers him, doesn’t mean that they are bad...but that what they are doing is bad. And he should tell them - you are very good, what I don’t like is what you are doing right now.

The best part is he understands....and that’s what stuns me...

Preparing our talk

We were having a tough time thinking what to speak about in the 9% leadership at Club Cabana and were both sitting blank. Adi asked what we were so lost in. When Taru told him that we were wondering what to speak about he said “...it’s very simple...just say - I’m the best...I can do everything..”. And it’s so true; that’s what we need to be speaking in every training to everybody all the time.

Are you excited?

Adi has learnt to put on Sugeet’s talk on the phone and he laughs loudly as soon as Sugeet says in the beginning of his talk - “Are you excited....?” and keeps saying it over and over again. 

And then he says - “...when I grow up I’ll also talk on the stage and go to all the meetings with you. And you know what...I’ll know how to do the business because I was listening to this talk when I was small.”

How much effort it takes to teach a 24 year old to listen to a CD a day and a 4 year old got it without even telling him once!!!!

If somebody tells you that you are stupid, it's actually they who are stupid....

This is such an important concept to build early on. Divya tells Adi sometimes “Buddhu.....” playfully. And it is these playful things that get programmed unknowingly forever in our brain computers. And any Tom, Dick and Harry tells us anything about us and we end up starting to believe those things.

When Divya told Adi again this time “Buddhu..” he didn’t like it and came to me. I told him “Does she know what’s inside your brain...can she see it? If she can’t how does she know you are not intelligent? And if she’s telling without really knowing, isn’t it her that’s Buddhu and not you?” And suddenly there was a broad smile on his face. And we both concluded for the rest of his life “Anybody who calls you buddhu is themselves buddhu because they are telling that to you despite not knowing who and what you are....”. 

I think it’s a great foundation to build. Nobody can dare to hurt his self image going forward.